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SUGAR PIE HONEY BUNCH.
In the wilderness of danger and beauty.
Jesus LOVES you.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
hahaha.. another boring day passed.. this morning woke up do theory.. dan later go cwp 4 lunch with family at pizza hut.. boy boy eat until so messy.. aiyo.. dan later walk walk dan go home.. dan haf piano.. argh.. almost 3 hour lesson... tiring sia..
later go nat church attend the gospel service n baptism service.. darius baptised 2day!! congrats!! haha.. saw him being baptised.. pulled into the water.. everybody laughed.. i oso dunno y.. cartoon la.. haha.. anyway, congrats.. heehee... dan talk 2 elsia.. with nat.. laugh laugh.. nat face so red worz.. haha.. n she wants to kill somebody.. hahaha... soon go home liao.. dan in the car.. nat, noah n i siao siao.. laugh so loud.. nat ding dong bell liao.. noah oso.. haha.. funny kia.. lolz..
N now im back at home lor.. sianx.. tml still muz go sch.. haiz.. lucky dis weekend no homework.. but got theory n tuition hw.. haiz.. life goes on.. can't wait 4 da holidays..
dunno y.. but i suddenly started thinking of u.. tt much.. which i guess never happened b4? heex.. dunno la.. juz the way i feel..
can't think of anything 2 blog.. 4 the moment.. juz waitin 4 ur reply.. :)
Mormor thought at.
9:28 PM
**********************************
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Mah mood.. erm.. so so bahx.. not tt good.. not tt bad.. mum n dad juz struck 4D.. can buy CD liao.. yea.. n mayb buy new things.. like clothes.. hahax.. luck sia..
2day go lendl house do project.. haha.. completed i guess.. dan play xbox.. i dunno how 2 play.. diu lian sia.. lolz.. but play dead or alive.. won.. yea.. haha.. violent sia..
tml is darius baptism day.. haha.. dun tink im able 2 go.. haiz.. no transport.. n my parents dunno his parents well.. so.. guess i can't go bahx.. haiz.. but hoping i can go there give him moral support.. lolz.. continue 2 live 4 the lord n serve him well.. will congratulate ya tml.. haha.. I seriously dunno wad 2 blog.. im running outta ideas.. sheeshx.. wishin i was downstairs now.. either karaoke rm or function.. dan downstairs frens all there.. dan talk talk.. haiz.. but the young ones havin CA1 startin on Mon.. me n nat common test finish.. haha.. juz waitin 4 march holidays dan can go out 2gether.. wanna have fun.. So sad i can't go 4 the CIP thingy on next sat.. coz some stupid choir workshop.. haiz.. rather go 4 CIP thingy lor.. more fun.. dan tuition have to postpone 2 afternoon again.. dan i cannot go yp.. haiz.. sobx sobx.. dan 12 March theory exam.. n im not prepared lor.. wad 2 do.. sianz sianz.. lost ya.. never 2 come back again.. i guess..
Mormor thought at.
7:50 PM
**********************************
Friday, February 25, 2005
arghx.. reminded of u again.. and wad thingy.. probably new thingy..
Im bored bored bored 2 death.. tml got tuition.. i dread it.. dan still got project work.. crazy.. trying 2 kill me arx.. dan still haf theory.. havent do yet.. how??
Suddenly started hearing the westlife's fool again n if i let u go.. haha.. like dis 2 songs.. nicee.. cut my hair 2day.. cut more layered.. rather satisfied with it la.. okok.. haha.. hope my hair remains like this.. lolz.. Tryin 2 find some fuel cell info.. going bonkers.. haiz.. can't find any.. dun feel like sleepin yet.. not sleepy.. me now got no target.. somebody help me find one leh.. haiz.. so sad.. no target.. no inspiration.. no influence.. lolz.. rubbiish larx.
I feel lighter now.. no burdens.. no troubles.. much better.. more cheerful.. ever since i finished my story.. yup.. glad abt it? Erm.. still havin considerations.. coz im nort really sure.. Congrats 2 sch netball.. got into top 4 west zone thingy i tink.. beat mgs 2day by 2 scores.. pro pro..
Miie.. life.. shattered.. lookin.. for.. fun.. n.. adventure.. realli.. wanna.. go.. wild.. n.. wishin.. u.. never.. appeared..
Mormor thought at.
10:28 PM
**********************************
Practically juz another boring day has passed.. haiz.. juz hope days won't be tt boring.. haiz..
Is my life better without u or with u? I don't know.. better in a way.. not better in a way.. juz tinking of the past.. n i tink it isnt better.. but when i dun tink of it.. it is better.. haiz.. confused now.. sobx sobx..
Wishing can go either escape or wild wild wet with downstairs frens in March.. Realli juz wanna haf fun.. hahaz.. put aside everything.. all the unhappiness n go realli realli wild.. Yup.. tt's wad i wanna do.. 4get everything.. 4get u..
Mormor thought at.
8:18 PM
**********************************
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Habbi B'day Noah!!! haha.. funny kia b'day on 24 Feb.. yea!! haha.. he book function room dan we go play table tennis n do homework.. n taupok!!! yea!! haha.. very fun.. lolz.. Dan grp hug!! Big hug!! haha.. we siao siao alreadi.. haha..
Mormor thought at.
10:50 PM
**********************************
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
- an jing - by jay Chou
zhi sheng xia gang qin pei wo tan le yi tian, shui zhao de da ti qin, an jing de jiu jiu de. wo xiang ni yi biao xian de fei chang ming bai, wo dong wo ye zhi dao, ni mei you she bu de. ni shuo ni ye hui nan guo wo bu xiang xing, qian zhe ni pei zhe wo ye zhi shi cen jing, xi wang ta shi zhen de bi wo hai yao ai ni, wo cai hui bi zi ji li kai... ni yao wo shuo duo nan kan, wo gen ben bu xiang fen kai, wei shen me hai yao wo yong wei xiao lai dai guo. wo mei you zhe zhong tian fen, bao rong ni ye jie shou ta, bu yong dan xin de tai duo, wo hui yi zhi hao hao guo. wo zhen de mei you tian fen, an jing de mei zhe me kuai, wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni shi yin wei wo tai ai ni.
[[ crying liaoz ]] this song brings me so many memories.. on 11 feb when tears rolled down my cheeks, it got stimulated by this song.. this song makes me tink.. tink back abt the past.. tat i told myself to 4get.. but which i can't.. this song means alot to me.. a song i can tune my emotions to.. this song is one of my favs.. tho it makes me cry.. y did i chose to be sad? i havent got a choice.. i can't control my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions.. tears juz come down naturally.. i need confirmation on my ending.. but i wonder when it can be confirmed.. i realli wonder..
-wishin u never appeareD- feel like bloggin somemore.. but i can't seem to type anything down.. somebody help me.. im going crazy over here.. im really going mad.. *heavy-hearted* meaning i've got loads of things kept inside.. n its gettin 2 heavy liaoz.. but who can i turn to 4 help?
Mormor thought at.
8:36 PM
**********************************
hahaha.. seeing dixun on webcam.. haha..
Me sho bored leh.. haiz.. no homework 2day.. yipEE!! haha.. tml still got lit quiz.. siAnz man.. haiz.. dun even noe all the story.. dun fail oso cannot lerx..
oh ya.. finally found my ending.. but its onli on 1 side.. the other side? no idea.. Feel much better after settling everything and piecing the pieces back.. my jigsaw puzzle at the moment still shattered but rather ok la.. not tt bad anymore.. however, a scar is left from my wound n tt scar will never heal.. it will leave a memory.. something which i sometimes wanna remember n sometimes which i dun wanna remember... now im tryin 2 4get coz i have already let go.. but somehow, i dun tink im succeeding becoz i tink it has gotten worse.. im ------- --- ---- --- ----... argh.. mayb tt's the aftermath of everthing.. later.. things will go back to normal.. juz hope -- ---- ----- ----.. dan i can 4get everything faster.. brainwash myself.. yup.. i decided wads best 4 us n i made the decision n carried it out... the results.. made me feel better but i havent gotten a reply yet.. so my story still not so complete.. but at least the basic storyline is there.. it has got an intro, a climax and an ending..
got a new diary coz the old one use finish lerx.. my whole story written there n when i read it again, feel like crying.. reminscing the past.. but they always say, a bright future is based on a 4gotten past.. so.. guess life will juz have to move on.. frm my story, i have gained experiences n learnt new things.. im glad i did.. never regretted anything..
i realised one thing, im still lurving u...
Mormor thought at.
7:13 PM
**********************************
I finally got my ending.. I plucked up my courage n thought long enuff... tho is isn't confirmed yet but yup.. i did it.. i completed my ending.. So my story ends here.. n all that is left is a memory..
Sorrie agnessa.. send wrong message.. wasn't me.. my fren sent it.. she wanted 2 send 2 someone else but accidently send to you.. lolz.. anyway, just ignore it.. n would appreciate if u dun mention it.. coz she is feelin rather sad la.. haha.. thanks.. if u r seeing this post..
Finally i finished my story.. :)
Mormor thought at.
4:43 PM
**********************************
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
still haven't got mah ending yet.. when m i ever gonna get it?
haven't got the courage to do so.. i have no idea y.. y haven't i got the courage... if i had.. i would have spared myself loads of agony n waiting.. hahaz.. but guess this was my destiny.. i have to live with it..
Im feelin hungry.. i alwayz feel hungry all da time.. haiz.. input more.. output oso more.. lolz.. if u get wad i mean.. heehee.. cannot sms anymore.. muz control.. or else bill go up up up up .. dan i die die die die.. haha.. haven't got inspiration to blog yet..
im h-a-t-r-k-n-d... yupz.. hoping it will heal soon.. can't take it any longer..
My life is completely shattered.. juz like a jigsaw puzzle.. needing to be fixed.. but at the moment.. i doubt anyone can fix it.. i tink onli the person who shattered it can do the job.. but the person will never do it.. i noe.. so.. my life juz continues to be shattered all over the place..
* trOublEd*.. *cOnfUseD*.. * hUrt*.. * lOsT*.. * sAd*.. * aNgrY*.. * mAd*..
Mormor thought at.
9:13 PM
**********************************
Monday, February 21, 2005
2day rather ok.. no choir but t-cher never tell us.. haiz.. waste me money eat lunch.. could have come home to eat.. haha.. but lucky no choir la.. so good lorx.. 2day science test.. hope i dun fail.. alot of question dunno how 2 do.. haiz.. stupid me..
finish hw lerx.. i tink* so... hope* so... im plannin 2 finally finish the ending of my story.. has to end someday.. but i wonder how n when.. can anyone tell me? i doubt so.. coz no one has read my story yet.. The ending will be a really sad one.. not like those in fairy tales.. happily ever after.. if onli that could happen.. dan good liao.. but.. in reality.. its different.. juz gotta face wadever obstacles that come ur way.. n overcome it urself.. tt's how u gain experience n do not make the same mistakes again..
SMSing now.. my bill gonna explode liao.. been smsing 2 much.. haha.. but cannot control.. lolx.. mayb wad nat said might be true.. but i dunno.. lolz.. dun care larx.. y shld i be bothered? mayb i shld.. crap la.. haha.. dunno wad im talkin.. oughta slap myself.. *slap slap* wake up plz* haha..
keep fallin asleep in class.. dunno y so tired.. haiz.. never c him online liao.. much better..
coming back 2 mah story.. i wonder how 2 end it.. i realli wonder.. *trouBled* at the moment.. coz if i end it wrongly, i might lose 1 things.. but if i end it rightly, i might lose juz one.. so how? Pros n cons.. tinking abt it.. but 2 tired 2 tink anymore.. sick of waitin.. sick of tinkin.. take a break, have a kit-kat.. hahax.. if onli things were so simple.. dan.. but things were never simple..
Mormor thought at.
9:18 PM
**********************************
Sunday, February 20, 2005
smsed but didn't reply.. nevermind la.. now smsing jet.. was revising science just now.. finished liao.. wish me luck.. hope i pass*.. haiz..
yvonne came juz now.. passed me some songs.. n i help her burn some.. im currently fallin in love with all the new songs i received frm dixun last nite.. haha.. esp jian dan ai and unwritten.. yea.. rocks man.. wo ai ni ni ai wo.. hahax..
Haven't settled my story yet.. intro yup.. climax yup.. ending?? can't tink of one.. coz things couldn't work properly.. all go haywire.. so sad.. feel like crying again.. dixun online!! send some more songs.. haha.. music freak.. tt's me.. but can't be compared to candice.. haha.. and nick.. lolz..
Im still waitin 4 u.. but i tink i have waited long enuff.. im so tired already.. shld i give up? or still hang on? haven't gotten a clue as to wad i shld do.. haiz.. feel like givin up... but it ain't that easy u noe.. i can't just let go.. it hurtz.. it tortures.. 4get is worse.. haiz.. but i caused the complication in the 1st place so now i have to solve it.. or just leave it unsolved.. but i can't.. it happened once.. n i dun want history to repeat itself.. i want an ending to it.. cannot just leave it bare.. but somebody help me.. coz i have no more energy to continue with it.. waited so long.. but fruitless.. put in a little effort but worthless.. coz u can't be bothered.. u started it oso.. not just me.. u have a part to play 2.. so finish it.. be responsible.. learn 2 handle ur problems.. spare a thought 4 others can? dun go around -------- ----- ------.. it ain't fun at all.. it hurts.. but u won't know anything.. sobx sobx.. keep'on dreaming.. wishin it didn't happen.. but yeap, no regrets.. chose the path myself.. so live with it.. be it problems or happiness.. thats my life.. my destiny.. my fate..
still waiting n waiting but i noe.. its useless.. like waitin 4 rain in this drought..
Mormor thought at.
9:53 PM
**********************************
Saturday, February 19, 2005
omg.. collectin songs.. receivin songs frm frens.. going bonkers.. coz im a music freak!! duh!! haha.. so many nice songs!! jay chou.. plus many more la.. Yea!! thanks 2 candice n dixun!! n yvonne helpin me burn more songs!! yea!! im so happi!! haha.. moritza lim u siao gal.. mad ar.. yupxx.. heex
On the outside.. happy.. but deep down inside.. hurt.. lost.. confused.. sad.. angry.. haha.. strange hor.. crap.. haven't study science.. haven't do compo.. n loads of things.. arghh.. die die die.. better go do la.. blog tml.. hope yvonne can come.. haha.. nitexx.. love ya.. not refering to u la.. lolz..
Mormor thought at.
9:01 PM
**********************************
back frm project work... completed... hope mr ong satisfied with our work.. dun ask us redo again... or else.. i gonna take knife liao... no kiddin.. he tot we so free ar.. got so much time do project.. siao.. no nid study one arx.. talk crap onli.. never think 4 us..
Mii mood now.. : dying of sianzation... Nobody go down.. nat n family go RFG.. deb dunno go where.. who else going down.. jet.. go RFG oso i tink.. im so sian.. haiz.. realli missin the holidays.. realli wanna turn back time.. y can't i? turn time back just 4 once plz? plz? Naah i can't... against the will.. against the law.. lolz.. jkjk.. If onli i could.. i really wanna turn back time.. i hate things now.. complicated n left unfinished.. My jigsaw puzzle now.. some pieces cannot find.. some pieces lost.. if u remember the part of my blog.. lecture on jigsaw puzzles.. haha..
Chosen to give tutorial 4 the concord pri students.. yipee.. if onli it was 4 ytps.. dan jiu4 hao3 le4... Wanna sms.. but who 2 sms.. i dunno leh.. haiz.. wishin i could run into _ _ _ _ _ _ _...
missing u so much... u.. the alphabet.. ya.. dun anyhow tink.. wishin i could c u.. wishin i could hear u... wishin i could stare at u... wishin i could be with u... dan frm A-Z.. other time bahx.. muz take turns okie? good alphabets.. lame.. diaoxxx..
Comin back to this phrase : wo hui xuan zhe fang qi ni shi ying wei wo tai ai ni.. if u love the person do u tink u will let the person go? tink abt it.. 2 me.. i dun tink i would.. but i still lurve this phrase.. hear the an jing oso can cry.. so sad.. sobx sobx.. I WANNA TURN BACK TIME!!!
Turn back time.. turn back time... turn back time.. someone gimme a time machine.. i wanna turn back time!!!( shoutin at the top of mah voice) but i can't.. waaah... sobx sobx..
Mormor thought at.
6:12 PM
**********************************
found wad lyana wrote in friendster bulletin very meaningful.. guys.. some good advice 4 you yea.. haha..
booked karaoke room last nite.. onli deb, janne, sam, jet, jannelle and david went.. okok.. not really fun coz nat, noah n nick not there.. nat to talk 2.. noah to make us laugh.. nick to entertain us.. yup.. haha.. not going yp 2day.. going yikai house do project.. hope can play table tennis..
Dreams again.. so sweet.. but when i wake up.. why must it onli b a dream? y can't it be reality? haiz.. can't help it.. somethings onli happen in dreams.. pple say that dreams are the opposite of reality.. i dun tink so.. u have dreams becoz of what happens in ur daily life.. sometimes u have it when u miss a person alot..n u dream of the person.. sometimes when u're havin fun n u really enjoyed urself.. u have the dream and its as tho the whole thing is repeated again.. onli difference is tat its a blur vision one la.. haha.. sometimes in dreams.. u can do things tat u can't do in reality.. 4 example.. erm.. fly? i dreamt of myself flying many times lerx.. how i wish i could really do that.. it feels so great to fly.. yup.. free like anything.. ruler of the sky..
+If i did one thing right, it was when i gave my heart to you+ A quote frm yvonne.. dun quite agree with it.. mayb givin my heart to you isn't the right thing to do.. so.. well.. i wonder what u tink of it..
gtg liao.. havent bathe yet.. leavin the house in 15 mins.. catcha later.. bye
Mormor thought at.
8:48 AM
**********************************
Thursday, February 17, 2005
still lurving u as much as i used 2
Mormor thought at.
8:41 PM
**********************************
wanna tell u that i have never regretted my decision... mayb we shld just 4get abt the whole issue.. n still b friends k? dun act as if we were strangers..
Mormor thought at.
8:36 PM
**********************************
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Yesterday type so long dan the stupid blog something wrong.. so 2day, finish wad i have to accomplish.. yup..
U noe.. life is just like a jigsaw puzzle.. each day, u're fixing this jigsaw puzzle n u come across new things.. so u never seem to be able to finish fixing the jigsaw puzzle.. sometimes its easy to find the pieces and they just fit in.. but at times, u can't seem to find the piece that u want.. even after u have found it, u can't seem to place it anywhere in ur puzzle.. its just like our life.. sometimes, things are easy going n smooth flowing.. everything seems to fall in place.. u feel so happy and great.. but at times, things dun go so well.. u get into trouble.. have problems.. everything goes wrong.. dan u'll be in a bad mood.. so u see, just like the jigsaw puzzle.. my current nick 4 MSN.. " u shattered my life into bits n pieces, just like a jigsaw puzzle, waitin to be fixed".. at times, ur pieces seem to go missing n a blank spot is left on ur puzzle.. thats when u have lost something or someone in ur life n u r either trying to find it or can't be bothered about it.. dan there will just be this emptiness in ur life.. a blank.. waiting to be filled.. but with what? Once u lose something, its very unlikely that u will get it back.. My life just isn't complete without u.. u came n u left.. missing.. never to come back.. n left a deep scar in my life.. like that big hole in ur jigsaw puzzle n if there's a missing piece in ur puzzle, its obvious rite.. so u can imagine how bad tat scar in ur life muz be.. haha.. kk, enuff abt life n jigsaw puzzles..
maths common test 2day.. rather ok... some questions dunno how 2 do.. juz hope i won't fail can le.. plz.. now lookin 4 the boulevard of broken dreams song.. something seems to be suppressing me.. but i have no idea wad.. ( mor, u r lying becoz u noe wad it is that is causing u all this misery ) lies n lies n more lies.. cannot tell lie.. be true to urself.. its hard to let go n hard to 4get.. after all the happy memories still lie in ur heart.. how 2 4get? sobx sobx.. Go function room 2day.. do homework n play table tennis.. my skills gone down liao.. hope 2 recover soon..
Many things i wanna say.. will tell u someday.. u? who u? nat.. i guess.. yup..
left with a broken heart.. how come? i took my heart n threw it on the floor n it broke lor..
Mormor thought at.
7:55 PM
**********************************
Monday, February 14, 2005
ai ni 4 eternity..u.. u.. u.. u.. constantly on my mind.. yeaps.. u.. u.. u.. u.. wishin i could spend every moment of my life with u.. yeaps.. u.. u.. u.. u.. wanna tell u that i love u so much.. yeaps.. u.. u.. u.. u.. im going crazy abt u.. yeaps.. u.. u.. u.. u.. hey but dun worry.. i love other alphabets as much 2.. haha.. wad were u thinking?? haha..
When will my turn come? wait la girl.. relax.. let nature take its course.. waiting 4 the prince charming of my life to come n fetch me to the palace.. yup.. haha.. iz tat every girl's dream? Mostly.. not all i guess.. haha.. gettin emotional.. crying again.. arghh.. no no.. cannot.. control..
sweet ..... but sorri.. haha.. not the thing im lookin 4.. ya..
Didn't reply.. haiz.. so sad.. [[ cry ]] stupid luqman call n say he is pauline.. like i believe.. diff voice.. like i believe liddat.. haha.. dumb la..
anyone who read my blog.. this is all crap.. i *promise*.. hope i do well 4 history tml.. haiz.. wonder if i can.. y never reply.. hate u hate u hate u.. hate other alphabets 2.. diaox.. havin stomach cramps now.. crap.. arghh.. 4get bah.. no point liao.. doesn't even bother?!? cheyz.. haiz.. sob.. [[crying]] Missing u.. missing other alphabets 2.. yup.. HONEST!!! haha.. its a joke?!? haha.. so [[ laughing ]].. laugh!! laugh!! hahahaha.. MOritza is a deranged girl.. siao.. nitezz
Mormor thought at.
9:58 PM
**********************************
aw.. so sad.. its 7.23pm im spending this lonely valentine night all alone.. haha.. Anyway, happy valentine 2 all those lovey dovey couples out there.. May ur love be everlasting and i wish ya all the best!!
Yesterday nick's b'day so happy b'day!! haha.. 2day eng common test.. quite ok.. not that difficult.. but the translation test was crazy n i wrote crap.. juz translated it directly.. u could say word by word.. lolz.. ooh so sweet.. al gave gp valentine day gift.. haha.. so sweet.. but sad 2 say u noe.. gp doesn't like al.. haiz.. y liddat.. but dun give up.. Me, ur "good good" fren support ya all da way!! refering to al la.. haha.. received gift frm emily, dolly, agnessa n jellyn.. thanks.. haha..
dun feel like doing eng hw.. neither do i feel like studying 4 history common test tml.. haha.. study liao la.. but like 4get liao.. so suan le.. i mean like.. k, i said this 2 nick b4.. why izzit that everyone muz study.. i mean some are good in arts.. some are good in sports.. some in music.. n all have different talents n strong points.. not everyone is academically good.. wads the point of forcing pple 2 study when some of them are not even willing to? 2 some, studying has become a chore which they MUST do.. they have no choice.. haiz.. y liddat.. so sad... life's like tat.. accept reality... fairytales do not exist.. anyway, who agrees with what i juz said juz now? heehee..
probably blog somemore later.. if i have things 2 write about..
Mormor thought at.
7:34 PM
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Saturday, February 12, 2005
Fear of rejection kept me love inside.. that's part of jethro's ex- nick for MSN.. kinda agree with it.. u noe when u like someone, u dun dare to tell that person.. n when u tell that person, u fear rejection.. so its so complicated rite.. so confusing.. keepin the truth inside.. yet once the truth is out, it hurts 2.. unless pple were genetically programmed for each other.. that would be kinda great but u have less choices la.. haha..
Was watching power rangers on tv.. haha.. the movie.. yea.. the movie rocks man.. like the actions n stuff.. wish i had powers like em'.. heehee.. went yp juz now.. haha.. got sinus... irritatin' nose.. arghh.. couldn't even open my eyes properly..
online but busy.. i didn't dare to talk.. y? y? y?.. now offline n i missed it.. so stupid.. y didn't i dare? haiz.. mor mor u dumb girl.. gonna spend valentine's day all by myself.. so sad.. haha..
Mormor thought at.
9:36 PM
**********************************
last nite, we had a crying session.. Nat cried, nick cried, sam cried, and i cried.. it wasn't crying 2 c who cry 1st.. but we all had a reason to cry... sam cried coz she remembered the accident of that man.. but later she stop liao.. Nat cried 4 a reason.. Nick cried 4 a reason... i cried oso 4 a reason.. Nick kept singing "one last" and "an jing".. make me cry even more.. as he sing he cry.. aiyo.. dan nat cried.. cried so badly i guess.. i cried.. but it wasn't all my crying.. i had more dan that.. i nid 2 cry somemore.. but the tears juz won't flow out.. haiz..
i can't afford the wait anymore.. i have to have an ending.. whether a happy one or a sad one.. there muz be.... i can't let myself be left hanging there.. wondering.. Nat, wadever it is, mor will alwayz be there 2 support ya all da way.. i'll alwayz be here 2 listen.. 2 comfort.. Nick, same 4 ya.. thanks alot 4 ya advice anyway.. thanks to deb, sam, noah n jethro 4 being such great friends in time of need.. all of u rOck!!!
guess after that crying session.. i feel better.. summary of the problem told nat n nick liao.. so feels better to let things out.. better out dan in.. haha.. taken frm shrek 2.. yupz.. next time when i feel my tears coming, juz let it flow.. even if it is in the wrong place at the wrong time.. nevermind.. haha..
going 4 yp.. yea!!
Mormor thought at.
12:29 PM
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Friday, February 11, 2005
sitting in my chair.. tinking n tinking.. my thoughts ran wild.. my mind in a whirl.. thing didn't seem 2 fit in.. how could this happen.. i guess this is the part where my life turns upside down 4 the moment until things get better.. when will it ever get better? onli a life guru can give me an ans.. mayb not even.. dan how? im feeling so moody.. never in a good mood.. the problem entered my life n juz changed it totally.. it never used 2 be this way.. there was once.. but i got over it.. so i guess.. this is another phase of life.. a new experience which i have to learn from.. things were sweet.. sour dan bitter.. n when its bitter.. ooh.. it hurts.. coz so bitter!!! haha.. diaoxzx..
tellin u now.. i tink im really really depressed.. mayb not depressed but upset.. or sad.. juz one.. which one worse.. or mayb another word can describe it.. naah.. haha.. brainstorm.. can't tink of any.. simple.. Sad.. that's it.. i tell myself that i have no idea why im sad.. but im lying 2 myself.. i actually do.. but i can't bring myself to tink abt it.. can't bring myself to talk abt it.. its so stupid.. everytime when i wanna cry, i cannot cry.. dan when i dun wanna cry, i can cry.. n its like in the wrong place at the wrong time.. i wish i could juz borrow someone's shoulders n cry all i want.. i wish the person would juz listen 2 me.. someone i can really really trust.. i have pple whom i really trust.. but i can't bring myself to do so.. it hurts juz to tell.. n i definitely will burst into tears.. yup.. so u see.. my life is so miserable..
i hate it.. shld have never started.. n now.. it has not got an ending.. i wonder when there will be an ending.. i really wonder.. juz end it.. suan le.. no point clinging on the that small hope that will never be there.. n that shall end this phase of my life.. yes.. finally.. but it hasn't happened yet.. n when it ends.. tears coming.. i can feel it.. yup.. that's my destiny.. juz follow it.. so sad.. haiz..
sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob
Mormor thought at.
8:26 PM
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hihi.. haha.. celebrated CNY on tues, wed n thurs.. tues go yvonne house 4 reunion dinner.. dan the next day.. lunch at grandma's.. yummy food.. haha.. collected loads of ang bao... yea.. watched charlie's angels at aunt amy's room.. yea.. i like that show man.. haha.. later go back home.. gotta prepare.. coz all coming 2 my house later.. dan they come liao.. dan gamble.. eat.. later go down at nite.. yvon, sam, deb, nat, jet, noah n nick went down.. larry was down 2.. with his relatives... dan we talked.. played shooting.. listen 2 music.. nick told me his problems.. haha.. dan he sing song until cry.. almost made me cry.. haiz.. life is like dis.. face reality pple.. so we hang out 2gether until 12.30am lor.. 1st time so late... shiok sia.. hahaz.. so happy.. dan yvon stay over.. talk until 2.30am dan sleep.. dan the next day go visit mum's side.. granpa.. collect angbao again.. dan go aunt rose house.. the mee siam as usual very hot.. haha.. dan i very tired la.. watch the supersize me until i fell asleep.. later go gamble again.. trolley n seven scare boy boy.. haha.. bark at him.. dan evening go aunt jo house.. makan again.. tummy gonna explode liao.. hahaz.. gamble.. but this time.. luck no good.. keep losing.. until i left 20 cents onli.. pathetic.. haha.. dan go home.. sleep.. n 2day, back 2 sch.. haha..
life juz isn't fair.. things are always like this.. not fair at all.. i hate it.. i hate you.. i hate life.. end it suan le.. wads the point.. u all have fun.. oso never call us.. haiz.. 4get it.. dun feel like blogging..
Mormor thought at.
4:43 PM
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Tuesday, February 08, 2005
m at yvonne's house now.. havin reunion dinner.. yummy food.. tho not really yummy lar.. haiz..
2day play da whole day.. morning go sch.. celebration.. ok ok la. later go back ytps.. rocks man!! Nat,ningxin, jieyi, sher, jj, joey, audrey, ruth, dit, tj, maycee, yeeteng and somemore went back la.. talk talk 2 them.. later some go back... dan ningxin, ruth, jieyi, audrey, joey, diann, dit, tj and me sat in a circle.. talk n laugh.. haha.. fun! dan jieyi n joey take tj bag.. hide here throw there.. haha.. disturb sia.. later go home.. dit n diann come ymg play.. paul oso.. dan play with nat, deb, sam, noah, dit, diann and paul lor.. play play.. later go swim.. dan go play.. had a fun day.. play all day.. haha.. later talk.. laugh.. jet came down.. n he finally saw how he looked like.. yup.. so wads ya comment? haha.. will ask u some other time.. later go home n bathe dan go yvonne house lorz..
Haiz.. duno wad 2 say.. yvonne staring at my post now.. so i can't type anything.. with pple around.. my feelings cannot come out.. haiz..
type either tml.. or mayb later in the nite... wanna wish all a HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!!!! stay happy.. stay cool.. good luck.. good wealth.. good health.. :p
Mormor thought at.
9:44 PM
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Monday, February 07, 2005
i've decided 2 let u go.. but how m i gonna tell u.. i can't bear 2.. yet keeping u.. is hurting me.. it hurts so badly.. u don't noe.. if onli u knew.. dan i would have been spared the agony.. but u couldn't be bothered so nvm.. im gonna cry.. in silence... nobody noes.. my heart being pierced deep with a knife.. like a rose with many thorns.. Nobody understands what im going through.. stress at sch.. homework.. tests.. exams.. troubles in mah life.. sadness.. i wish i could tell everything 2 someone.. but i noe.. i can't.. i just can't..
Im helpless.. left 2 feud 4 myself in this lonely street... like jet's nick.. diploma in lonerism.. that's what i got.. yeap.. turn back the clock.. would be the onli way..
Mormor thought at.
9:54 PM
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u're so dead.. im tellin ya.. so dead.. gonna get it frm me.. oh yeah.. wad m i gonna do 2 u.. dunno larx.. ko shi xin fei.. haiz.. can't bear 2.. learnt one new thing.. guys r jerks.. yupz.. except 4 some lar.. not all.. that's just a general statement.. but doesn't appeal 2 all.. onli some guys.. more dan jerks.. hahaz..
tml cny eve.. yup.. going go yvonne house 4 dinner.. but i wanna go down lehx.. haiz.. mayb can go down 4 a while..
my life has been turned upside down.. all becoz of u.. u caused turmoil.. destruction.. anger.. hatred.. all this.. penetrated deep into my heart.. i hate u.. yes.. u.. i hate u.. n now.. im sufferin frm mental disorder.. emotionally unstable.. physically uncontrollable.. feel like givin u one punch now n *oOps* bull's eye!! yea!! Moritza.. u siao ar..
Its so dumb lor.. yup.. dumb n dumber.. crap.. im not happy as u can see.. so someone.. plz make it happy again.. doubt i can.. u idiot.. got a scar now.. yikes.. cannot be healed.. 4ever rmbered.. if onli i could go 4 a brainwash.. tat wld b great.. n its all boils down 2 ur fault.. but nothing can make up 4 anything.. its all gone.. gone.. gone.. finished... dead.. in hell..
i dunno wad im typin here.. im just some confused n lost person trying 2 figure my way out.. things come n obstruct.. coz me pain, sadness n anger.. can't u just go away?!?! yar.. go away!?!? get it? no? sho dumb... my mood is terrible.. dun come n provoke me.. or i shall explode.. really explode.. tink im lying? u're so wrong.. u're so dead.. i hate liars.. liars r suckers.. fools.. if u're tellin a white lie dan mayb nevermind.. but u're not.. so u're in the wrong.. irresponsible.. sick person.. so dumb.. so dumb.. 4get it.. things had 2 b dis way.. i can't change the fact.. 4give n 4get.. sorri.. u can go now.. will take u back.. 4 interrogation.. someday.. u watch out.. u can run.. but u can't hide.. muahahahs.. (evil laugh.. really angry lerx)
u won't understand anyway.. wads the point.. sobx sobx
Mormor thought at.
8:25 PM
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Sunday, February 06, 2005
haiz.. 2day pretty boring day.. woke up 2 do homework n theory while watching garfield the movie.. oh yeah.. so nice.. so funny.. haiz.. later piano 4 2 hours.. argh.. got sci test tml n i havent study 4 it yet.. argh.. havent done dnt.. dunno how 2 do.. argh.. going crazy.. very tired.. *panda eyes lerx*.. hahaz.. it's still probably not feelin ani better.. yupz.. stupid.. pet phrase become quotes.. dumb person.. haha.. won't tell ya who.. abi.. erm.. noe u juz ..... .. but nvm la.. still young.. got plenty of chances..
my turn will come n im tellin ya.. its gonna be a hell of a time.. "hell" yupz.. that's it.. c reddish eyes the next day.. fury.. haha... burning sensation.. Have 2 eat dinner soon coz going 4 choir prac at singapore conference hall later.. coming back late... argh.. *stress*.. that's wad im feelin now.. sad n stress.. my life is lyk that.. haiz.. Cherish the moments.. those precious moments.. once the feeling is lost, it can never be brought back.. i guess so.. sobx.. haiz..
can't tink of anything 2 write at the moment.. keep ya updated 2molo.. cya.. byez.. im in urgent need of the toilet.. lolz..
Mormor thought at.
5:18 PM
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Saturday, February 05, 2005
2day.. do project work.. emily, gekpeng,dolly, lendl n norman came.. finally completed.. yea..
sick.. yes.. it's sick.. haiz.. wad can i do.. can't do anything.. so sad.. die lor.. hahaz.. gettin outta here.. the best way.. yea baby.. go ahead.. nobody stoppin ya.. lolz..
doing homework.. chattin.. listening 2 karma.. haiz.. can't stand homework.. sianz.. common test in 2 weeks time.. n im gonna fail.. promise.. so dead..
CNY coming lerx.. in a few more days.. ang bao 2 take.. but im not looking 4ward.. coz CNY coming means common test coming.. which means it's leavin.. yup.. yea.. outta my sight.. outta my life.. great.. go on.. byez.. bon voyage.. i sound so cruel.. haha.. tt's me.. ya.. HAHA.. homework drivin mi up the wall.. argh... if onli time could stop at that particular time.. on 14 jan.. how nice.. i'll be the happiest person on earth.. haha.. + she hates time. make it stop+.. sound familiar har... taken frm 1985 by bowling for soup.. nice song.. haha..
if only it saw this.. than it will noe.. dan maybe it will change.. but naah.. never.. suan lerx..
Mormor thought at.
9:17 PM
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Friday, February 04, 2005
I dream... wad do i wanna be? Someone who does great things.. blah.. haha.. wanna a t-cher? hm.. like 2 teach lil' kids.. really cute sometimes.. great job i guess.. hm.. wad abt a pro* swimminer? haha.. tink it will ever come true? dunno larx.. not even training now.. haiz.. wait long long.. hm.. wad else leh.. dunno larx.. dun care.. havent plan 4 da future yet.. concerned abt the present now.. wad m i gonna do with my life? No idea.. Help me tink leh.. American idol on now.. haha.. sing sing.. wonder if i gonna take part in B-pian idol dis yr? eee.. dun make myself puke la.. haaz.. heez...hooz..
Went swimming just now.. speed slow down liao.. coz of injured arm that time.. haiz.. dan never swim.. loads of schwork.. oso no time go swim.. haiz.. arm alot better.. onli hurt alittle sometimes.. fully heal plz.. haha..
Mah eyes closing liaoz.. arghh... duno y so sleepy.. muz finish homework.. or else.. die die.. haiz.. kk, now my post not so depressing le bahx? hahaz..
Habbi habbi habbi.. yup.. that's me.. not so happy.. yet quite happy.. siao kia.. ya.. mi.. siao kia..
Mormor thought at.
10:11 PM
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Thursday, February 03, 2005
Mi ish living in a world of deception.. heartbr0kened.. upset.. angry.. happy..misery..horror..comedy..laughter.. everything.. all in 1.. how can i keep all this 2 myself? Its terrible.. My heart.. cannot take it.. but how can i tell everyone.. how can i find someone.. who truly understands me.. really goes through it with me.. without.. erm.. dunno larx.. Even the person i trust most may be lying 2 me.. i won't know.. onli U noe.. U urself noe.. Nobody else noes.. nobody else understands u.. Only U.. different pple have different opinions.. different perspective of life.. different ways of looking at things.. My heart.. tearing into pieces.. breaking.. my mind.. losing control.. thinking.. my hair.. growing white soon ... lolz.. My body.. ripping apart.. coz i cant take it anymore.. i cant stand properly.. gone wobbly.. Somebody.. spare me the agony.. but how?!?!? Complicated.. that's how things are.. sometimes they're simple.. but u juz cant seem 2 grasp it.. Taking my theory in March.. wonder if i'll pass.. think i'll fail.. dun understand a single thing.. haiz.. Feel like crying.. but those tears juz wont come out.. Force ya out!! Come out!! haha.. Moritza Lim.. u stupid fool.. u dumb person.. u idiot.. im crazy n deranged.. stay away frm me.. danger.. beware.. High electricity voltage.. may explode anytime.. 4give me.. im sorri.. kk.. onli dumb pple will understand dis.. so if u dun, that means u're not dumb so HOORAY!!!
Running out of things 2 write.. nitezz
Mormor thought at.
9:59 PM
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if i could turn the clock back, i would turn it all the way back to 12 Jan.. but if i could do somemore.. turn it back 2 last year.. the last day of sch.. dan 2 months holidays.. hahaz..
2day, not a bad day.. time passed rather fast.. lessons boring as usual.. onli history watched some gruesome video clip.. tho i didnt really find it gruesome.. but the pple really poorthing.. haiz.. world war 2.. adolf hitler.. japanese soldiers.. surrender of singapore.. "into" history liaoz... heehee.. homework.. finish lerx.. dan choir.. the pianist dam pro man.. play soo pro.. *claps* aha..
my mind is in a whirl now.. like a tornado.. haha.. no la.. not that bad.. tinking of 2 many things.. the past, the present, the future.. haiz.. left wondering on this lonely walk of life.. no answers.. no questions.. nothing.. things were good, dan things were bad.. so which one? good or bad? dunno larx.. confused.. misunderstood.. careless? hahaz.. turning back the clock? naah.. i can't!! so sad..
chattin online.. blogging..thinking..worrying..crying.. haiz.. bleeding? where? cut ar? lame.. diaox.. stupid humphrey.. 4th time asking me who i m.. stm ar.. short term memory.. haiz.. dumb la.. haha.. aw crapp.. darius getting baptised in 24 days.. congrats!! haha.. wish i could attend.. c how it goes.. yupx..
Mormor thought at.
7:42 PM
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Tuesday, February 01, 2005
really bad.. bad.. haiz..
Mormor thought at.
9:12 PM
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Saved by Grace, Loved by God
[ Life's sweet and yummy ~*
`Mor,MorMor or Morsha
` I'm a child of God, a very loved one as all children of His are.
`loves God, family, friends, music, chocolates, laughing, having fun, disney, lil kids and mickey's house.
` And i just wish someone would understand the magic of my wonderland.
` I have often dreamed, that my life would be,like a fairytale; A perfect fantasy...
Loves
